Description
Congratulations on your new rattle trap. Now complete the look with a shirt that understands your pain.
This tee is softer than your zeroed expectations and stretches better than your budget did. It’s lightweight, comfy, and flattering enough to distract from that mystery rattle in your handguard.
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (because you deserve some quality)
• 4.2 oz fabric – light enough to run drills, heavy enough to absorb regret
• Pre-shrunk (unlike your groups at 100 yards)
• Side-seamed so it doesn’t twist—unlike your buffer spring
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping, for when you’re carrying the weight of bad decisions
Throw it on. Embrace the chaos. At least your shirt won’t jam.
Sure! Here’s a witty, sarcastic rewrite of that message:
⸻
This masterpiece is made just for you the moment you hit “order,” which is why it takes a little longer to show up at your door. We don’t believe in warehouses full of lonely shirts collecting dust—we make ‘em fresh, like overpriced guac. So thanks for not fueling the fast-fashion apocalypse. You’re basically saving the planet. Probably.
