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SOTAR Butthurt Cream

$14,999.99

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Description

Oh, you’re still smarting over a SOTAR post, huh? Well, butter my biscuit and call me a bagel, do we have the perfect (and utterly necessary) product for you! Unveiling the one, the only, SOTAR ‘Rear-End Rescuer’ Cream! Tailor-made for that precious peach of yours that’s taken quite the metaphorical beating.

And here’s the cherry on top of your ego salve: half of your hard-earned money will go straight into the “I Really Should Move Out Of Mom’s Basement But Video Games And Pizza Are Life” fund. So, in the process of tending to your delicate derriere, you’re simultaneously giving a financial kick up the backside to those who need it most – the proud, the few, the basement dwellers.

Isn’t life just grand? Order your SOTAR ‘Rear-End Rescuer’ Cream now. Because who doesn’t love adding another jar to the bathroom cabinet for problems you didn’t even know existed? Trust me, your tushie and mom’s basement-bound knights thank you in advance.

 

PS. Can also be used as an emergency Rifle lubricant

Additional information

Weight 1000 lbs

3 reviews for SOTAR Butthurt Cream

  1. Crispy Critter

    You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. But most importantly, you’ll sit comfortably again! Who knew a SOTAR post could wreak such havoc on one’s sitting capabilities? This ‘Tushie Tamer’ Cream is like an angel’s breath on your buns. Plus, it’s the charity that keeps on giving! Ever imagined your hard-earned bucks could liberate the basement-dwelling warriors among us? Well, dream no more. It’s like winning the comedy lottery with a bonus round of philanthropy. I’d give it six stars if I could!

  2. Captain Can’t Even

    Let’s be honest, nobody saw the need for a ‘Tushie Tamer’ until they felt the sting of a SOTAR post. This cream is the real MVP – the Most Valuable Product. It’s like having your cake and eating it too, but the cake is a sense of relief and the eating is applying this miracle cream. Plus, knowing I’m financially helping a fellow basement dweller find sunlight, well that’s the cherry on top! It’s philanthropy meets therapy in a tub. Kudos SOTAR, you’ve nailed it!

  3. Hoes Mad

    Ah, the ‘Tushie Tamer’, what an absolute balm-diggity! Trust me when I say it’s not just a clever name. This product has worked wonders on my post-SOTAR-post-sensitive posterior. It’s like a cooling glacier for the ego-burnt booty, and man, do you feel it working! But it’s not just about saving our dignity (and bums), it’s also about saving those poor souls trapped in the abyss of mom’s basement. So, while my dignity thanks me, I also get to feel like a superhero for the basement brethren. Bravo SOTAR, you’ve outdone yourself!

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